| Gender: Male | Status: Single |
| Age: 25 | Sign: Gemini |
Physical Attributes:
Tall, dark, and handsome
Personality Traits:
Independent, industrious, and indomitable
Likes:
Reading, writing, and walking
Dislikes:
Driving, flying, and singing
Welcome to the wondrous world of the Web!
It's a terrible place isn't it? Especially with sites like mine cluttering up the space and polluting your eyes with banner ads. I'm sorry to subject you all to such tasteless ads, but being profoundly parsimonious (cheap) I have no choice. So please forgive my frugality.
Right now you may be wondering, "Who the hell are you?" Well, if you were to google my name, you would come up with a scant few results. One of which says I'm a failed banker who's been dead for over a century. This may lead you to believe that I'm either an identity thief or some sort of zombie. But rest assured, I would never be stupid enough to steal the name of a felon, and the last time I checked I still had a heartbeat. Strange as it may seem, it is possible for two completely unrelated people to have the same name, even when that name is as weird sounding as Jesse Riddlebarger.
The next logical question on your mind might be "What the hell is this site about?" As the name implies, this site is something of a mystery, but one that gradually explains itself. The title may also conjure up thoughts of other celebrated investigative figures, like Stephen Colbert, Matt Drudge, or Lemony Snicket. All elusive allusions aside, this site is mainly a personal profile. Think of it as a sanitized MySpace page, sans nudity or public displays of intoxication.
"What!? No drunken sex orgies! Where the hell do I send you my hate mail?" Any questions or suggestions, comments or concerns, can be sent to jriddlebarger@gmail.com.